HUMOROUS
    SIGNS FROM 
   AROUND THE WORLD:
   
   (Click
    on more more jokes 
   to return to the main jokes page or main
    site to browse 70 topics ranging from 
   exotic kaleidoscope designs to the strange world of lucid dreaming.)
    
   Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
   
   DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE 
   FOR THE BEST RESULTS
    
   At a Budapest zoo:
   
   PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE 
   ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY
    
   Doctor's office, Rome:
   
   SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND 
   OTHER DISEASES
    
   In a Nairobi restaurant:
   
   CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR 
   WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER
    
   On the grounds of a private school:
   
   NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION
   
   
   
   
   On an Athi River highway:
   
   TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS 
   SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE
    
   
   On a poster at Kencom:
   
   ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT 
   CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP
    
   In a city restaurant:
   
   OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS
    
   One of the Mathare buildings:
   
   MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE
    
   A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
   
   DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS
   In a Pumwani maternity ward:
   
   NO CHILDREN ALLOWED
   In a cemetery:
   
   PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED 
   FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES
   Hotel brochure, Italy:
   
   THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR 
   ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK 
   HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE
   Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
   
   THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED 
   FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE
   Hotel elevator, Paris:
   
   PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES 
   AT THE FRONT DESK
   In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
   
   YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT 
   THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND 
   WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY
   From the "Soviet Weekly":
   
   THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW 
   EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. 
   THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS
   Hotel, Zurich:
   
   BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY 
   OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS 
   SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE
   A laundry in Rome:
   
   LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES 
   HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME
   Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
   
   WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND 
   THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
   On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
   
   IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST 
   VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
NEW!!! Signs from the USA!
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
Another Pizza shop slogan:
"Buy our pizza. We knead the dough."
On an electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."