You're
Living Too Fast If...
(Jokes about
getting trapped in the high-pace lifestyle. The real humor is that
these are all things that happen to me.)
You're living
too fast if you walk through the kitchen so fast you blow out any lit
burners on the range.
You're living
too fast if when you approach an automatic door you bump your nose on
it because it didn't have time to move out of your way.
You're living
too fast if the book you're holding while walking gets jerked out of
your hand because you changed directions too fast.
You're living
too fast when people give you dirty looks for rustling their
newspapers as you pass.
You're living
too fast when you microwave something for ten seconds and look around
for something to do while you wait.
You're living
too fast if your normal way to walk up an escalator is to rush up it
two steps at a time.
You're living
too fast if when walking around the corner of a doorway you have to
grab the frame to sling-shot yourself around the turn.
You're
living too fast if when you open the refrigerator half the stuff
gets jerked out of the door.
You're
living too fast when making pancakes if they fly off the spatula
when trying to move them from the grill to the plate.
